Stupid Vs. Fast

On the 23rd while going to college for my exam, I was cruising nicely at 80-90 kmph on the highway, cherishing the soothing smoothness of the Karizma. A bike started whizzing on my tail. I have a tendency to cruise on the left edge of the lane-marker between the fastest and second fastest lanes when I'm moving faster than the general traffic.

This guy comes up in the right-most lane, on a rattly GF170. Not wearing a helmet, ripping as if he was on a suicide mission. Not realising how desperate he'd get I decide to have some fun.

For people who know about the roads here, I was on the Thane Eastern Express Highway going towards Octroi Naka. Ofcourse I wasn't letting him pass me. As we know what is comfortable speed for the Karizma is pretty unsafe for most other (Indian) bikes today. So I keep pulling ahead, just enough for him to catch up. As we approach the toll naka I slow down nicely and the guy is trying hard to get by. This toll naka is a Bike-Nazi Zero-Lanes-For-Bikers types. So what bikers are forced to take is the leftmost quarter of a car channel. In short, only one bike can pass at one time.

I pop there first. The guy in front of me chickens out of taking the lane as a truck is paying up it's dues in the rest of the lane. I brake smooth and good to a complete stop. I, slightly nervously, check my rear-view for any signs of him nicking me from behind, but as it turns out, I watched another 100cc cmmuter rear end him. Ha Ha! What a laugh! As I sped outta the toll booth, all I could do was look in my rear view mirror at the arguing twosome and laugh like a freak inside my helmet.

There's a signal immediately after the toll booth.. which turned red. As I waited for the Go sign, this dude pulled up somewhere in the bunch of cars. As the light turned green, I obviously sped away in true traffic light GP style. Clearly pulling ahead of everyone, I saw this blue/grey speck in my mirror. I also saw a piece of road approaching which hadn't been too kind to me in the past. I must be doing some 100 kmph when I approached it and slowed down considerably to 60 kmph odd in a pretty scary moment. Scary because I was shit scared of being rear-ended by our Max Biaggi. As expected he whizzed by me with no loss of speed and jumping all the bumps. I could only pity the guy for getting so desperate to risk his life (no helmet, remember) trying to prove what?

That he was a better rider than me?
That he had a faster bike?
That a slower bike could beat a faster bike?
That he was a retard with all of the above reasons and very little common sense.

As I watched him pull away from the patch of bumpy road, I was left feeling strangely reminded about my crash exactly at that spot. It was a high speed fall. And felt a bit uneasy in the guts, and to the fact that my ego had supposedly been dented cos I let him pass me like that. But then I realised, I just guaranteed myself another day to ride. I "won" many times over, I just let him pass this time. I was satisfied that I didn't get caught up in the moment and repeat the same mistake twice. Ah, maturity kicking in. As I rode upto the beautiful Airoli bridge, I thought of the incident at the toll booth and chuckled my way to my Exam.

The Airloli Bridge

Cheers,
Manas.

Ten Insecurities of an Indian biker

After having ridden on Indian roads for almost 6 complete years now (recent four of which comprise complete highway riding) , I think I have a little perspective on the insecurities of bikers, not just in India. This article does not stem from any recent close-calls or mishaps. I think it warrants a mention that I have been riding on the highways on a 100cc Splendor for the first three years and a 223cc Karizma for the past year.

Tenth insecurity of a biker on Indian roads would be having yourself confer the title of Spittoon on wheels. If you're lucky, you might even get yourself some red spit from that paan. I consciously avoid riding behind the sides of any vehicle.


Ninth would have to be the riders who think they are the best. Now there are very few people who actually don't believe that, myself not included, but those who go all out to prove it to everyone are the ones that scare the shit out of me. A little maturity has taught me to let such people pass, even if it means giving them the false satisfaction of having beat a bigger and faster bike. No thanks, I'd rather die fighting sharks, atleast my family wouldn't be ashamed to tell others about it.



Eighth insecurity is held in the "City Riding" set of insecurities buffer in my head. The most dangerous automobile on the planet, and not without reason - the Autorickshaw! It turns on a dime, it flips in a blink, stops after a lot of convincing and crawls in the fast lane for eternity. City rider's worst nightmare. Buses fall in the same category.


Seventh, I would have to go with the Indian Goddess. The much beloved and respected - the cow. We are taught in primary school " Gaai Hamari Maata Hai " (The Cow is our mother), but a also a serious road hazard. Not too much of a problem in the cities, but very very risky on the highways. In cities, Dogs substitute.



Sixth one is traffic light jumpers. These are just plain retards. They not only risk their lives, but of those following traffic rules too. Somehow they never realise that " I'll make it just before the other signal goes green" seldom works the way they picture it. Sooner or later crash on their own.



Fifth scary thought would have to be the unforgiving water tankers parked bang in the middle of a fast lane. Imagine this, you're doing 95kph on your favourite highway and there's a car in front of you. You're at ease with yourself thinking about the day that passed you by, and in a split second from hell, the car in front swerves and changes lanes to reveal the water tank that now looks like the Rock of Gibraltar. What do you do? If you're lucky/skilled/alert, more importantly lucky, you may get away. But imagine the other 50% possibility. You bang straight into the tanker. Like hitting a wall. This is not too uncommon. On my everyday route, I have atleast two stretches of 100kph+ cruising capability with such tankers gracing the venue occasionally. Scary.




Fourth one would have to be that pothole from hell. You never know when one could pop up even on your everyday route! There's always this ticker in the back of my head telling me to keep an eye out for potholes. I've had my fall thanks to some nice ones. Being in India, I measure how well I know a road by how well I know the location of each and every pothole on a certain route. I've always wondered, people would pay good money to watch regulars of a certain route carve their way in and out of the hazardous path just to get to work on time, everyday. I can bet it would be more interesting to watch than watch ANY track race. Isle of Man? What is that?



Did I mention people who slam on the brakes and swerve out of their lanes in the middle of a highway just to avoid a pothole?


Third insecurity would be drunk drivers. I have exchanged a few such stories with friends where all of us have been on the receiving end. Such incidents generally end in a violent and bloody mess.



The Second would be the Politicians' 'Laal Batti Gaadi' ( Red - Beacon Car). Most times the drivers of such cars are

- drunk,
- not holding any licenses,
- fearless of any traffic control,
- fearless of running you over,
- holding weapons,
- in a hurry,
- looking to pick a fight.

They scare me the most, but lose out on the top spot because of one simple reason - they are easy to identify, and thus, easy to keep away from, unlike the sleepers who mingle with the traffic and hit you out of nowhere.



And my Numero Uno insecurity is undoubtedly road rage. A raging person with 2 tons of metal at his command, who also happens to be in a mood to kill is the scariest thought that runs in my mind. I have had my share of incidents with such people and it would sound something out of a film script but let's save those stories for some other day.



This list is by no means comprehensive. That would take up quite some space.

Cheers!
Manas.


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